(Sorry mom).
I reread my first blog ever that I wrote almost one year ago and it's time to reflect. I was all about being 23. I had big plans for what that age would hold. College graduation was on the horizon, I was freshly dumped by a boyfriend, I had skeleton plans to go on a trip with my best friend, and I was stoked to just be blissfully lost and confused about life.
http://connectedtothemoon.blogspot.com/2014/12/so-we-just-write-down-our-feelings.html
(^for reference if interested in freshly 23 year old me)
24 is one week away, it's 5:22am on a Sunday. I'm physically, mentally, and emotionally drained. It's the perfect time to review 23 and spit some newly found wisdom on you Facebook friends of mine. Feel free to exit now.
Surprise, I graduated college. Top 5 best days of my life. I'm proud to have a degree and even more relieved that I never have to see another midterm ever again. Life can get quite boring without school, I must say. I've gone to school consistently since I was 3 years old. One year ago I was terrified of what these days would be like. Turns out they're pretty casual. I have free time! What is that? Word of advice to those that are almost to the end but feel like it will never come... It will. Full speed. Don't rush it. Don't dread it. Definitely don't give up. It seems impossible now but walking the stage is too rewarding and having a degree is too big of a prize to give up when you're almost finished. (Sisters, that means you).
I chopped off all my hair right before I turned 23, then I shaved the side of my head. Now I'm going on 24, rocking ponytails on the daily trying to survive this awkward length. Bobby pins are my best friend. Growing your hair out takes much longer than hacking it off. Patience is evidently a virtue. I wouldn't know.
I had barely breathed the words "let's go to Japan" one year ago. Surprise again! I made it happen. With many tears, a lot of giving up, a handful of fights with my bff, even more phone calls to my mom asking for advice, and one vodka bottle full of tip money later, I now have the most incredible memories of my trip to Japan under my belt and all over my Facebook feed. Seriously people, travel the world. It's worth more than any tangible thing you could ever own. I'm just getting started, but Thailand is on the calendar.
I got dumped at 23. I felt what a broken heart feels like. I felt loss. I felt like I would be alone forever. (Dramatic as always). Luckily, while still 23, I found someone new. I fell in love all over again. It's scary. 'Scary' is actually too rudimentary of a word to truly describe it. How do you open your heart to someone when you just finished piecing it back together? That I don't know the answer to. I'm still opening it, slowly but surely. It becomes easier when your other continually proves to be one half of your whole. He's the overthinker to my mindlessness. He's the planner to my flying by the seat of my pants. He's the voice of reason to my indecisiveness. He's the responsibility to my immaturity. He's the fun and carefree to my stress. He's the adventure to my stay at home and veg all day. He's perfectly opposite and the same all at once.
Is anyone gagging yet? See how much can change in a year? That paragraph above is so not like me, but so real, too.
I am the maid of honor in my best friend's wedding back home, coming up in just one short month. An engagement that was still non-existent one year ago. Planning a wedding is hard, people. I'll tell you what my most successful job has been through it all so far... Giving my opinion. Like damn I am good at not holding back. You're welcome, Lindsay for not letting you have anything ugly at your wedding and helping you make decisions when you couldn't quite get there. You're also welcome for cutting out 3 million mustaches.
All through 23 I contemplated the importance of keeping friends you don't necessarily want in your life anymore. 24 seems like a good year to reevaluate relationships and cut ties with those who don't constantly help you grow and improve as a person. What is a friendship if it's out of pure obligation anyway? I also need to reevaluate the grudges I've been holding. There's nothing more unhealthy than a grudge, and I have many. Forgiving and letting go is something I'm still working on. 24, we got this.
Other small but big things that happened during 23: I got a bunny. She ran away. I moved. I bought my first car. I explored another Hawaiian island. I surprised my family for Christmas. I got like five new jobs. I fed a monkey. I swam with dolphins. I saw Incubus, Kings of Leon, Tech N9ne, and Chris D'elia live. I learned to never lend someone money with expectations to get it back.
A year ago I was so content with where I was, who I was, and where I was going (which was nowhere). With 24 right around the corner, I am exceedingly anxious to make a change. To move forward. To grow up a tiny bit (not too much). A big girl job seems slightly more appealing the closer I get to what could be considered a 'big girl'. Making plans doesn't seem like such a bad idea. Saving money seems more important. My perspective is evolving daily.
23 was a roller coaster. I'm wild and I'm not sure if I'll ever calm down.
24 will, without a doubt, be an equally as windy, bumpy, crazy roller coaster as well. I'm not 100% ready to burry my immature, party, carefree self.
The difference between 23 and 24 for me is I had my hand on the e-brake all through 23, just in case. This year, I am welcoming whatever life has to offer me with open arms. Why resist what's meant to be? I'm going to make 24 my bitch, and then I'm going to reduce the amount of swearing I do in my blogs. (You're welcome, mom).
I'm ready to make moves. I'm more than ready to put 23 behind me.
Here's to yet another year of new beginnings, new adventures, new mistakes, and new memories.
Also, here's to a boring age that doesn't even have a song with "24"in it. I was on a roll the last two years with "22" and "23." Thanks T. Swift and Miley.
xo, Tay
