Give 4 girls 12 hours to play in London, they can make that feel like a weekend.
It only took me one 6 hour flight, 3 hour layover, 2.5 hour flight, 6 hour layover, and another 9 hour flight in the middle middle seat to get from Honolulu to London. Talk about an eternity. But once I united with my best friend, her sister, and her sister's best friend, I wiped the travel sleepies from my eyes and it was on.
*Insert tourist things here*
I'll spare you from the boring details of sight seeing. Being someone who lives and works in a tourist city, I hate myself for being touristy over here. But let's face it, it's pretty rad to stand outside the queen of England's palace and wonder if she's kickin' it in sweat pants watching real housewives or if she constantly roams the halls of her massive home in a ball gown going over her daily itinerary of royal shit to do.
As exhausted as we were, we rallied at about 12:03am and made the last train to town to find a club, being that it was our one and only night in London, not to mention a Friday night. We walked the streets, basically looking for where the people were flocking to. Turns out it was a club down a side street called Roxy with a mile long line.
Talk about cultural differences.
When we finally crammed into the bar, it smelled like severe body odor. Do people in England wear deodorant? I don't know. The bathroom had about 6 inches of space between the stalls and the sink. Skinny bitches only please. It still weirds me out that 18 year olds are trusted to be in clubs and bars. I thought it was cool that I could leave my jacket in the 'cloakroom' although the guy working in it wasn't amused by our excitement. Sorry we don't have cloakrooms in Hawaii sir, just let me think it's cool for a sec.
I'll be the first to say I have a large love/hate relationship with the tipping system we use in the states. I love raking in that cash but hate the days I work my ass off for nothing. But man do I now have a new found appreciation for it after being in this club. Turns out when you make the same amount of money at the end of the night no matter how hard you work, it makes one work quite slow and lazily.
I mean 100 people were constantly crowding the bar trying to get drinks and the 3 bartenders were throwing ice cubes at each other and walking around aimlessly. ZERO sense of urgency. And why should they? No one is waving cash in their face offering big money to make their drinks faster. By all means, take your sweet ass time.
A shot is like 3/4 of an ounce. How do people catch a buzz out here? I ordered 2 vodka waters for Kailey and I. The girl looked at me like I just asked her feed my pet dragon. I'm like "vodka. water." With as much enunciation as humanly possible. No, not soda water. Water water. And vodka. And ice. And preferably a lemon. She told me I'm weird. Okay.
Meanwhile 80s disco music is playing. Like where is the gangster rap I'm trying to twerk over here.
Go back for a 2nd drink. Different bartender. YES I SAID WATER. NO NOT SODA WATER. He told me they only have soda water. I said tap water and he finally got it. Called me weird. Two people next to me called me weird. I get it, english people don't drink vodka water. Let's all move on.
Everyone that approached us realized 3 sentences in that we're American. One girl told me she loved my accent, then proceeded to try to copy it. I kid you not, this is how she talked to me the rest of the night.
*Valley girl voice* "Liiiiike are you like American? Like oh my gosh you totally are. Are you like drinking? Oh my gosh you like so are!"
Holy shit girlfriend we do NOT sound like that.
She also asked Kailey if I'm bisexual. Her dude friend asked why I'm so mean. Kailey told them she and I are dating and I'm the jealous type. They bought it, but they didn't back off. I guess being the only 4 Americans around for miles made us exciting to be around.
Our plan was to catch an uber back to the hotel. Woops forgot we need wifi for that. Unfortunately, Roxy didn't have free wifi. Also, fun fact, cabs here are pretty much all cash only. The four of us only had US dollars on us. We were living up to the stupid American stereotype by that point.
We finally got our lives together and got into a cab. I asked if there are any drive throughs. Evidently that was a stupid question. Americans are obese because we eat Taco Bell at 3am after drinking all night. I figured it out.
All in all, England is dope. 12 hours wasn't nearly enough but it was an excellent first glimpse at Europe. I'm getting on a cruise ship now to battle the seas with my best friend. Until my next country.
Xo
No comments:
Post a Comment